Sunday, 30 October 2016

SERMON 16 OCTOBER 2016: STEWARDSHIP: RANDS AND CENTS

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts be acceptable in your sight: O Lord, our strength and our redeemer.

Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis
The Beatles
ABBA
The Grateful Dead
Led Zepplin
Pink Floyd

“If you got it you don’t need it. If you need it you don’t got it,” begins Martin,
recognizing The money song

What have all these singing groups got in common? Apart from being singing groups…they all had popular songs about money – as have many other artists…
Then it’s worship…

All these popular songs, all these lyrics all about money...all the jokes about money and all the jokes about the Church and Money.
Did you know that there are whole websites just devoted to jokes about the church and money….

Why is it that there are so many jokes about the Church and money? Is it because people sometimes feel awkward and, perhaps, a bit embarrassed about the relationship between our church and money? Or, to be more specific, the relationship between our church and OUR money?

The theme for today in our Stewardship Programme is money – Rands and Cents - as we approach the time when we would like to formalize our giving.

One of the problems about talking on this subject is boredom. The immediate thought perhaps going through many of your minds could well be: ‘ I know exactly what he is going to say – I’ve heard it all before….’ if that is the case I must ask you to please press ‘delete’ and let’s start from scratch!

For many of us, Stewardship always seems to be mainly about money and planned giving… but, as we have seen so far in our programme, there is far more to stewardship in the church than just money….although today we are going to talk about money…it’s all about how, together, we can contribute in many different ways to the work of building this church which our Lord has entrusted to us – this is our church – we are jointly responsible for it – and we are not talking about just the building!

As we say in our vision statement in the pew leaflet..

We want… ‘to be a God-centered people living the Gospel of Christ to build God’s Kingdom in our community’. We should be using our gifts and talents to develop ourselves and our Parish in the wider community.

When we talk about Stewardship and our money we are really looking at two different aspects – looking after our own money in a responsible way – as good stewards - trying to learn to live below our means so as to leave a small comfort margin – not always easy - Financial freedom is not just freedom from excessive worry about financial things but also freedom from the constant pursuit to have more which may be unnecessary…

…and then we have how we use our money to work with the church…

When we talk about our money and our church there is one over-riding concept to keep in mind – what we do and what we give is a private agreement between each of us and God. We contribute what we feel we should contribute and we must feel no pressure from the Church – the Church will remind us and the Church will encourage us! But – what we do and what we give is our personal decision.

When we give to God, whether it be in the regular collection or a special offering, or just a gift to help someone who is in need, we can give hoping to see some kind of a return, some kind of blessing, a sort of quid pro quo, but, if that is our approach, then it’s possibly just a business proposition and, if we’re not careful, our motives might start and end on “me, myself and I.”
Or we can give because God has blessed us in our lives, giving out of thanks, recognizing that it came from the Lord in the first place…. NOT requiring or expecting some type of return benefit.

Psalms 24:1 declares, “The earth is the Lord”s, and all it contains,” and in 1 Corinthians 4:7, Paul asks, “And what do you have that you did not receive?”

When we give as a way of saying to God, thank you, recognizing how He has blessed us,
New York
$500


In 2 Corinthians , the apostle Paul talks about our stewardship and his emphasis is not on our giving by guilt—because we have to. Nor is his emphasis on giving with a grudge—because we ought to. But his emphasis is upon giving with grace —because we want to.
In Paul's eyes, the offering is neither a necessary evil nor an unnecessary evil - it is a necessary good, so important that it must be an integral part of the worship service.
If you look at the New Testament in the original Greek, you get an even better idea of how important offerings were to Paul. Paul used nine different Greek words to denote the offering. By contrast, he used only four words for love.
Giving should be central to our worship of God.
It’s through giving that we are participating in the work of God in the world. We are helping to build his church and to provide for so many people in need, both spiritually and financially.
It also helps to make our worship real because we are making an actual, positive, personal contribution to the Lords’ work.
"In the history of the world, no one has ever washed a hired car."
Because they have no ownership….
And…until we feel ownership in the kingdom of God and its work, we will not give as we should. But when we do give, we show that our faith is as real and as meaningful to us as the gift we are giving.  
Collection Bag – consciously think about the contribution you are making..

John Templeton is one of the most famous investors in the world. He annually confers the largest monetary prize in the world for religion. The amount of the Templeton Prize ($1 000 000) is even larger than that of the Nobel Prize. Sir John is a Presbyterian. A while back, John Templeton spoke in Philadelphia. His speech was billed as, "Come hear John Templeton reveal the secret of his success!" It seemed as if every stockbroker in Philadelphia turned out for the event, held in the ballroom of a hotel. John Templeton stood before them and said, "The success of my life is due to tithing to the church." He continued, "The key to investing is putting your money in undervalued stocks...Today, a life of servant hood is undervalued, the lives of children are undervalued and the gospel of Jesus is undervalued. Put your money in things of eternal value."
Stewardship is voluntary but, Stewardship is also an actual privilege – as we said, to be able to join in the work of building the Lords’ kingdom.
As followers of Jesus Christ we give ourselves first to Him. In Christian stewardship we first give ourselves to the Lord and then we give of our resources – our treasure, our time and our talents.
If our priority is giving ourselves over to the Lord, then we should have no problem with giving from our resources.

‘Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly, or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver’
We should never feel irritated by fund raising requests – if we are giving what we believe God wants us to give, we need give no more unless it is a cause that touches us in some special way. If we ever do feel pressured and irritated – then perhaps we need to pray about our regular giving……..
If we all give, as we believe we should give, there will be an ample supply of hands and funds to achieve all the plans we share about building our Lord’s kingdom through our church.
Through the abundance of God’s grace, we are enriched, enabling us to be generous on every occasion through which praise and thanksgiving are given to God – and remember – less can be more – think of the widow’s mite!

We need to pray about our contributions – are we happy and cheerful that we are contributing as we believe God would have us do?
Is finance that important to our church?
Yes – it provides the means by which we can worship our Lord in these beautiful surroundings – the means by which we can spread the Word of our Lord – the means by which we help those less fortunate than ourselves – the means by which we can bring up our children with good values on life through the church – the means by which we assist the greater diocese in the work of building God’s Kingdom on earth – it is very important!
But also..
No – it is not all important – it doesn’t, by itself, provide a growing fulfillment in our own personal walk with the Lord – we have to give from ourselves in some way – make a small first step perhaps to using our time and talents towards greater involvement in the life of the church.
‘As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God’.

Amen
Roger Lee

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

SUNDAY 9 OCTOBER 2016 - STEWARDSHIP OF OUR TIME

Stewardship of our Time


Collect:           

Holy God, your Kingdom extends beyond space and time; Teach us wisdom to number our days and to use wisely our time here on earth so that by the power of your Holy Spirit, your Kingdom may grow in this place, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
Readings 
First Reading
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) -
Everything Has Its Time.   3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ps 90:1-17 (APB pg. 719) – The Message: A Prayer of Moses, Man of God
90 1-2 God, it seems you’ve been our home forever; long before the mountains were born, Long before you brought earth itself to birth, from “once upon a time” to “kingdom come”—you are God.
3-11 So don’t return us to mud, saying, “Back to where you came from!” Patience! You’ve got all the time in the world—whether a thousand years or a day, it’s all the same to you. Are we no more to you than a wispy dream, no more than a blade of grass That springs up gloriously with the rising sun and is cut down without a second thought? Your anger is far and away too much for us; we’re at the end of our rope. You keep track of all our sins; every misdeed since we were children is entered in your books. All we can remember is that frown on your face. Is that all we’re ever going to get? We live for seventy years or so (with luck we might make it to eighty), And what do we have to show for it? Trouble. Toil and trouble and a marker in the graveyard. Who can make sense of such rage, such anger against the very ones who fear you?
12-17 Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! Come back, God—how long do we have to wait? And treat your servants with kindness for a change. Surprise us with love at daybreak; then we’ll skip and dance all the day long. Make up for the bad times with some good times; we’ve seen enough evil to last a lifetime. Let your servants see what you’re best at— the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work that we do. Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!

Psalm 90

Second Reading
Ephesians 5:8-12 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
8 For once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of light— 9 for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true. 10 Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to mention what such people do secretly…

Gospel 
Mark 13:32-37 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV): The Necessity for Watchfulness
[Jesus is teaching about the end times, and says] 32 “But about that day or hour no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.33 Beware, keep alert: for you do not know when the time will come. 34 It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his slaves in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch.35 Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, 36 or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. 37 And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake.”

May I speak….
Have you ever felt “I don’t have time for…” and you could add “family?”, or “prayer?” or “to do more for someone we love?” Hopefully, it’s not “I don’t have time to make enough money?”
For us mortals, trapped in time, surely time is one of if not the most precious resource we have?
Thus, looking at our stewardship of our time is very important – if we look at Jesus’ life and ministry on earth, they were relatively short – the common assertion seems reasonable that if Jesus "began his ministry" when he "was about thirty years of age" (Luke 3:23) and engaged in a three-year ministry (John mentions three Passovers, and there might have been a fourth one), then he was about 33 years old at the time of his death, yet He made the most of His of these few years here with us on earth – He was a good steward of this time. Likewise, we are also all called to be good stewards of the time God gives us on earth, and we’ll be investigating this from the perspectives of our readings...
Psalm 90 expresses an important understanding of God – God is “timeless”, meaning “beyond time”. The easiest way to explain this is imagining time as a fourth dimension [physicists and mathematicians can describe any number of dimensions, so a 4th should not be beyond us].
We know a 3D solid has length, and breadth, and height, but it also has “duration” - a fourth dimension: time…
We can only see the present moment, and remember or learn a bit of history from a limited perspective, the same way we are only aware of a tiny bit of three-dimensional space – we are only aware of a fraction of space-time: reality is infinite in at least these four dimensions, yet we are only dimly aware of the tiny piece we have seen and understood from our limited perspectives of 3 dimensions over a tiny duration of eternity…
Yet God is fully aware of all time, all space, all of the 4 dimensions we have discussed, as well as all others – like the psalmist is trying to describe, God is “from everlasting to everlasting” – in terms of time, and in terms of all dimensions….
GOD IS SMALLER THAN THE SMALLEST & SHORTEST DURATION: If we look in the spaces between the nucleus and the electron of the tiniest atom, the first ever created, that ceased to exist after an instant, God is there…
GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BIGGEST & LONGEST LASTING: If we look beyond our universe, and all other universes, in any number of dimensions, from the beginning to the end of time, space so big and time so long lasting that it is beyond our space-time continuum, God is there too…
The Psalmist tries to describe this, saying that, comparatively, we seem to be as dust, yet we must never forget we are all (every created mite) infinitely important to God, every one of us, and the incarnation is the proof – God loves all creation, even us so much, that God became incarnate in Jesus, and thus paradoxically limited in both space and time, just like us, to show us infinite love, and to give us an example of how we too can live fully, even constrained in time and space and understanding…
How? Through love… Love of God, love of others, and love of self…
Have you noticed how Jesus spends His time showing Love of God, love of others, and love of self?
Jesus focusses primarily on being in tune with and in communion with God, and on doing what He can do…
Even God incarnate does not heal everyone, or talk to everyone, or save everyone, or do everything while on earth, but God incarnate does what He can, within His constraints, and shows us how to do likewise, knowing that God and only God sees the full picture…
Yes, Jesus is busy, and people make extreme demands of Him and on His time, yet Jesus never seems out of control – he never rushes, or panics, and yet He always has enough time for prayer and He fully accomplishes what God asks of him…
Mark 1:21-34 describes a day in in Jesus’ life: It’s a Sabbath, so starts with Jesus teaching in the synagogue, where he drives a spirit from someone. He then goes and visits Simon’s sick mother-in-law and heals her, before sharing a meal with his friends and the family. In the evening, the whole town gathers at the door, and Jesus heals many and drives out many demons. An exhausting day!
And yet even Jesus does not rely on His own abilities, and spends extensive time in prayer, seeking God’s strength to complete His mission, allowing God to nurture Him spiritually…
Yes, we get a sense of Jesus’ sense of urgency, but we also see how Jesus also takes time to share a meal with friends, nurturing himself physically and socially too….
The Gospels are also full of examples of Jesus going off alone or with his friends, giving Him and them time to recuperate too – one of my personal favourites is the resurrected Jesus taking the time to light a fire and to cook some fish for His friends while they were out on a boat, fishing…
Do you allow yourself enough time to be alone? Or to sit quietly God in prayer and worship, nurturing your spirit? Do you allow yourself enough time to care for yourself physically? Or socially, by spending enough time with family and friends, even as you minister to them, and those in need around us?
A tempting response is to say: “Ah, but I don’t have enough time to do all that!”, but that is a lie – the truth is we have enough time to do all we need to do, just as Jesus did – if we feel we don’t have enough time, we need to first take the time to carefully study HOW we spend our time, and then to re-prioritise…
In our Gospel passage, Jesus warns us to keep alert: for we do not know when the time will come. We must persevere, diligently, not falling by the way.
Jesus exhorts us: Be vigilant! Keep awake! We do not know when the Master will come, and He will come suddenly.
Finally, our reading from Ephesians gives us an idea of how to do this – the author exhorts us to live in the light, and not in darkness. In the context of how we spend time, the passage could be interpreted as meaning we can spend time in two ways: wisely (living in the light) or foolishly (living in darkness).
Surely, we too, like Jesus, can better allocate time to living more and more in the light by relaying on God’s help and guidance through prayer?
Amen!

Rev Gavin Smith

Monday, 10 October 2016

SERMON SERIES STEWARDSHIP - 11 SEPTEMBER 2016 - YOUTHFUL STEWARDSHIP

YOUTHFUL STEWARDSHIP

Readings:
First Reading:    Deuteronomy 6, beginning at verse 1 The Great Commandment.

 Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the ordinances—that the Lord your God charged me to teach you to observe in the land that you are about to cross into and occupy, 2 so that you and your children and your children’s children may fear the Lord your God all the days of your life, and keep all his decrees and his commandments that I am commanding you, so that your days may be long. 3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe them diligently, so that it may go well with you, and so that you may multiply greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you.
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.[a] 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. 6 Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. 7 Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise.8 Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, 9 and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Hear the Word of the Lord…
Psalm 34: 11 to 20,
11 Come, children, listen closely; I’ll give you a lesson in God worship. 12 Who out there has a lust for life? Can’t wait each day to come upon beauty? 13 Guard your tongue from profanity, and no more lying through your teeth. 14 Turn your back on sin; do something good. Embrace peace—don’t let it get away! 15 God keeps an eye on his friends, his ears pick up every moan and groan. 16 God won’t put up with rebels; he’ll cull them from the pack.

17 Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. 18 If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath. 19 Disciples so often get into trouble; still, God is there every time. 20 He’s your bodyguard, shielding every bone; not even a finger gets broken. Glory be to the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit…


Second Reading:   1 Timothy, chapter 4, beginning at verse 12

12 Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 13 Until I arrive, give attention to the public reading of scripture,] to exhorting, to teaching.14 Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you through prophecy with the laying on of hands by the council of elders. 15 Put these things into practice, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress. 16 Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; continue in these things, for in doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers.

5 Do not speak harshly to an older man, but speak to him as to a father, to younger men as brothers, 2 to older women as mothers, to younger women as sisters—with absolute purity. Hear the word of the Lord!
Gospel:  Luke, chapter 2, beginning at verse 41
The Boy Jesus in the Temple 41 Now every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. 42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up as usual for the festival. 43 When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. 44 Assuming that he was in the group of travellers, they went a day’s journey. Then they started to look for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents[a] saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, ‘Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.’49 He said to them, ‘Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’[b] 50 But they did not understand what he said to them. 51 Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in years,[c] and in divine and human favour. This is the Gospel of Christ! [praise to Christ our Lord]
Welcome to our 2nd week in our stewardship series – this week, we’re looking at “youthful stewardship”.
There are a few connotations to this expression, two of which are important today:
  1. No matter what chronological age we are, we can “steward our own youthfulness”, if we protect our ability to see the world with excitement, passion, and pure wonder…

Having a youthful excitement, innocence and (most importantly), enthusiasm for life is one of the greatest spiritual gifts, as described in our psalm....

Don will introduce the ecumenical Youth Alpha team in the notices, but I want to thank the team and the participants for helping make this Youth Alpha happen – if we do not open our hearts and minds, we will not encounter our Living God, and I have seen God gently building and encouraging us through this Youth Alpha Series, and I hope you all embrace and enjoy and , especially in this service we’re celebrating with them!

And our Epistle guides our youthfulness, reminding us that we should let no one despise anyone’s youth, and telling the youth to set the other young believers a good example, in word and in behaviour, in love, in faith, in purity. In the same way Paul encouraged Timothy in our Epistle, I encourage you all, especially our youth, to give attention to your faith, encouraging and teaching one another. We all have gifts, both the young, and the old, and we must not neglect the call to put them to a good and pure use.

However, the most important meaning of this expression for me is more personal, as it talks to my own vocation and ordination. The reason I started to study theology is I wanted to give my own and other children better answers to the important “God questions” than I got at their age…. And I would never have gotten to that point without my own first and other Alphas I shared with many of you St Paul’s and St Martin’s folk, including the parents of many of the youth on this Youth Alpha…

The reason our priest suggested I go to Alpha was because I asked difficult questions – I struggled with God and myself from my youth – I was angry at God because He let bad things happen in the world and to people I loved.

I asked the priest why, and said that I felt as if I was a bird in a cage, and that God had opened the door to the cage so I could fly out and be free, but all I could see outside the cage was a dessert, and I knew if I flew out, I would die…. I asked the priest what kind of loving God would do this?

Starting with Alpha, then through my later studies, I learned my answer – yes, there is pain and suffering in the world, and it doesn’t always make sense to me, but god has a good pleasing and perfect plan – the answer to my cage problem, I believe, is that yes, sometimes things look bleak, but if we trust God, and go where God asks us to go, we fly beyond the cage we are stuck in, out beyond the dessert that surrounds the cage, and on into the wide open, scary yet beautiful world God has made for us…

My answer was to fly out with God in faith, and to discover the desserts and gardens of life that God had put outside the cage of my doubts, if only I just flew on the wings He had given me…

So I encourage us all, with the same exuberant, trusting faith as a child, to leave our cages and fly out into the world of freedom, trusting God to lead us and sustain us through the delights and desserts of our lives. Amen!

Rev Gavin Smith 

Monday, 3 October 2016

WITH GRATEFUL THANKS FOR HEALING LOVE AND KINDNESS

We have been looking at Stewardship at St Paul's this past month, and we have looked closely at community - our church community, and the wider community of the country in which we live, and our stewardship of people and relationships.  This moment of remembrance that I had last week, reminded me of God's care for us, and how he sends people into our lives,  sometimes unexpected people, to help us, heal us, restore us.  If you have had an experience like this, someone you would like to thank, please share it with us.

This is dedicated to my stepmother, Malie, who cared for my father for eight years before he died, and has been a loving, caring and undemanding member of our family for 48 years. I am so grateful to God for bringing her into my life.



Last week, I heard a song that used to be sung by Francois Hardy, decades ago.  I used to be a huge Francois Hardy fan, I think I really identified with her music, and her look, and everything about her. So I looked her up on Google, she’s now in her early 70’s, still lovely looking, still a special person, and then I started remembering the time when I was such a big fan ….

It was a very dark time in my life.  I was nearly 21, living on my own in a hostel, supporting myself on whatever I could earn working in medicine depots at night and weekends, and studying.  The hostel supplied meals, but as I was away from home for up to 18 hours most days, I missed a lot of meals, and often went hungry.  I also had no money for transport, and walked everywhere.   That’s probably why I’m such a good walker still today!  I had friends, but they all lived at home, and I was terrified of becoming a nuisance if I went round their homes too often, and of them pitying me.  So I lived my solitary life.

At that time, my mother had been ill for about 5 years;  she was only diagnosed with brain cancer two years previously, had had surgery and some radiation treatment, but I think the doctors  realized that it was just a matter of time.  Of course, in those days they didn’t tell the families much.  I had last seen my mom the previous December, when my dad had been transferred to another little Karoo town, and I had packed up the house for them to facilitate the move.  My mom was not well, but okay, and came to the station to see me off with my dad when I returned to Johannesburg to resume my studies.  My dad was not a good communicator, and I couldn’t afford phone calls, so when he called me on 28 April, two days before my twenty-first birthday, to say that my mom had died, it took me totally by surprise.  I didn’t even know she was back in hospital!  To say I was shocked does not come near to describing how I felt!  It was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me – I adored my mom, and to make it worse, I was so alone and so poor, I just felt totally bereft.  

One of my bosses lent me the money to fly home, and I spent a week with my dad and 3 younger brothers, before coming back to my lonely and very sad now that my mom was gone, life.  I lived for Christmas, when I would go home and see my little brothers again, and saved up a little every month for my train ticket home at the end of the year.

Then, at the beginning of December, less than 8 months after my mom’s death, I received a letter from my dad to say that he was getting married that coming weekend.  In a total state of panic, I went to visit a friend’s mom, a dear Jewish lady who always looked out for me, and we talked about how I should handle the news of my dad’s remarriage so soon after my mom died.  We decided that it was a wise move on his part, as his own health had for years not been good, and two of my brothers were still at school, so at least he was making provision for them by marrying again.  So, I was quite calm when I phoned my dad to say that I would not be able to be at the wedding, but would only come home for Christmas.  However, he made it quite clear that he did not expect me to be at the wedding, and told me that unless I accepted his new wife and her family (being her sister and her family, as my stepmother did not have children of her own), I need not come home again.  I was stunned! My dad didn’t want me home, and I literally had nowhere else to go, the hostel was closing for the holidays, and I would have been on the street! 

As harsh as that sounds, in fairness to my dad, he was a guy who really hated confrontation, and I think he felt guilty about getting married so soon, but did not want to get into a discussion about it, hence his very stern words to me!

Anyway, with no other option, I caught the train home and my dad fetched me from the station with my little brothers in tow, but as lovely as it was to see them, it was not a happy home coming for me.  A strange town, lots of strange people who all knew each other, I felt more alone than ever.  And so I spent endless hours playing my two Francois Hardy albums, over and over.  I think everyone must have thought me very weird and annoying, but no one said anything, because Malie, my new stepmother, treated me with love and kindness and endless patience.  She was totally un-judgmental.  She never once tried to make me do anything, or asked me to stop playing my endless sad music, and allowed no one else to put any pressure on me. 

And I thought last week, when this memory came back to  me, that in the 48 years that I have known her, I have never thanked her, never told her how much her treatment of me then, and over the years, had contributed to my healing, to my growing into a more socially acceptable human being than I was back then.  So I phoned her, and thanked her, and she said, “Ah my dear, you have always been  my own child”. 

She is eighty-nine years old, and frail, and I am so grateful to God that he gave me the chance to say thank you to her before she goes.  She has been a true mother to me and a grandmother to my children, and now a great-grandmother to my grandchildren,  but she never forced anything on us or demanded anything from us, she was always just there, kind a loving.   I  love her and thank God for bringing her into my life.
Linda Galliard October 2016